they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
