By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
