i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
