Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
