true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
whose parrot is this?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
