Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
