i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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