Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
