I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
