party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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