Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
