its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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