I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize