Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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(202): i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady http://tfl.nu/uziv

Replies (21) Good night (2015) Bad night (687)
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(650): View more from California

barbara walters just said penis...

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(650): barbara walters just said penis... http://tfl.nu/ninz

Replies (10) Good night (2871) Bad night (940)
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(586): View more from Michigan

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

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(586): i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning http://tfl.nu/zcz6

Replies (33) Good night (3199) Bad night (842)
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(718): View more from New York

is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?

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(718): is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy? http://tfl.nu/hdnt

Replies (54) Good night (2357) Bad night (1194)
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(415): View more from California

i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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(415): i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world. http://tfl.nu/0s72

Replies (45) Good night (5579) Bad night (1048)
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(586): View more from Michigan

i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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(586): i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?" http://tfl.nu/o8h0

Replies (9) Good night (5224) Bad night (819)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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(703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc

Replies (19) Good night (6157) Bad night (1427)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob

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(978): nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob http://tfl.nu/cycw

Replies (28) Good night (2127) Bad night (5163)
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(206): View more from Washington

This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate

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(206): This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate http://tfl.nu/vfhs

Replies (6) Good night (2478) Bad night (1694)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis

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(540): Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis http://tfl.nu/8a3h

Replies (13) Good night (3473) Bad night (852)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

You're a rent hooker.

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(201): No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both. (1-201): You're a rent hooker. http://tfl.nu/wbsz

Replies (14) Good night (3828) Bad night (1147)
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(917): View more from New York City

After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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(917): After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/hjie

Replies (7) Good night (872) Bad night (1672)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine

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(978): He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine http://tfl.nu/bvyx

Replies (12) Good night (2295) Bad night (837)
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(757): View more from Virginia

do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

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(757): do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress http://tfl.nu/1usj

Replies (4) Good night (1212) Bad night (488)
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(503): View more from Oregon

If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.

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(503): If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it. http://tfl.nu/6z3z

Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (406)

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