how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?