Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?

(760): View more from California

You are my hero

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(404): View more from Georgia

Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(262): View more from Wisconsin

My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I've ID'd the nipple biter.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?

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(585): View more from New York

either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell

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