just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
