Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
