we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
