Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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