I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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