i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
