I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
someone owes me an orgasm
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
