i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
