I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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