Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
