we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
