lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she told me i tasted like america
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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