Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
