i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
