What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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