I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize