hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast