Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!