i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...