Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.