So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I could fuck to npr.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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