hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
