We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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