There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize