She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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