She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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