I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
