man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i believe in u and ur pee
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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