We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
false alarm, still single
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
