I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
