Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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