I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
How's work?
Spinning.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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