I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize