I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
