Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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