Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im holly from the hills drunk
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize