Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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