You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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