they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I love you.
Bad choice
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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