i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
