Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
