I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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