just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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