Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
