are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
50% drunk capacity currently
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
