im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
50% drunk capacity currently
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
