I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
