If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize