one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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