NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
