don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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