he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sext me about skeletons
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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