There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
