I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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