I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
a search helicopter?!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
