hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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